Kiss Me Secrets
by ShotGunKissandBeyond
Summary: My contest entry for RipJawWolfFang's 21st birthday on Deviantart. I thought that you guys might like it. He would leave suddenly, late at night, only to return a few hours later. He never told me where he went. The only answer he had ever given me when I asked where he went and what he did was "I have secrets I won't share." But tonight was different.
1. Chapter 1 I'll Be Here

**A.N: So this is my first entry for RipJawWolfFang's Mattx Mello contest on Deviantart. And since its not really loading right now, I decided to put it on here first. **

** I chose Matt would get injured. And since I'm lazy and didn't want to draw, I wrote XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or it's characters, If I did, things would be a whole lot different, and I also don't own Clowns by TATU.**

**Check it out, it's an awesome song.**

Mello's POV:

"Matt!" My yell echoed around the empty apartment. Silence. I had expected that, but it had made me momentarily feel a bit better to call his name.

Shit where is he? I sighed, brushing a few stray hairs out of my face, and stood. I hated it when he did this.

He would leave suddenly, late in the night, only to return a few hours later. He never told me where he went. The only answer he had ever given when I asked where he went and what he did was "I have secrets I won't share."

But tonight was different. I had seen him leave this time.

He had looked scared. Like an animal who knew it was walking straight in to a trap.

A deadly, poison laced trap with hunters and guns.

And a nuclear bomb.

And he hadn't come home yet. I was beyond worried. Me. Mello. Worried.

All around me on the floor were tons of chocolate bar wrappers. I always ate more chocolate when I was nervous, or worried, or pissed.

And I was all three of those things.

I walked silently to the kitchen, looking up at the clock. It was a little past four in the morning. He had left over five hours ago.

That's it. I'm getting help. I grabbed my cell phone and flipped it open, dialing the number of one of my subordinates.

My logic being "If the mafia can't find him, no one can."

Just as I was about to hit call, I heard someone knock, followed by a weak and feeble voice call "Mello...?" I shut the phone and dropped it, almost running to the door and flinging it open.

Matt fell in on me, having been using the door as a support. The first thing I noticed was the reek of smoke.

The second, the feeling of something warm flowing on to my chest. I pushed him gently off of me, and looked at him. I was shocked at what I saw.

His shirt was ripped and stained a deep red, blood dripping out of slash marks and to my horror, a bullet wound in his shoulder.

I realized the warmth on my chest was his blood.

"Matt! What the hell happened?" I yelled, picking him up and sprinting to the bathroom. He didn't respond. He was out cold.

Not. Freaking. Good.

I set him down in the tub, and began cutting away the remains of his shirt with my pocket knife. In most occasions I would have zoned out, admiring his chest, but the blood and fear of his death snapped me out and in to "focused Mafia boss Mello mode" as Matt liked to call it. There were three slashes, two of which would definitely need stitches.

The gun shot would be a whole other issue.

I opened the drawer filled with first aid shit Matty had nicked from a hospital when I was in the explosion.

Thank god.

I grabbed a bottle of some kind of antiseptic along with some bandages, a pair of tweezers, and a needle and medical thread.

"Hold on Matty, you'll be okay." I whispered, kneeling beside the tub and carefully starting to clean out the slashes.

I nearly stopped when I saw tears run down his cheeks.

But I couldn't.

The tears didn't stop as I started to stitch without any way to numb the pain.

He had used all of the pain meds and anesthesia on me.

"I'm almost done Matty, please hold on."

That was only half the truth. I was only almost done with the cuts. He whimpered softly, and I could tell he was starting to wake up.

I quickly finished and tied off the string before wrapping his chest with the bandages. Now for the gun shot- "M-mello?"

He blinked weakly, his green eyes searching wildly for me. "I'm here Matt, I'm here." I gripped his hand.

He relaxed a bit, focusing on me. "It hurts..." he whined.

I swallowed hard. If it hurts now, it'll be agony when I take out the bullet. "It's okay, I'll fix it, just relax and look at me." I tried to sound soothing, but I know my voice was laced with fear for him.

He nodded weakly, his eyes remaining trained on me. I was glad he wasn't wearing his goggles.

He didn't look away from me when I picked up the tweezers, and cleaned them off along with the hole in his arm. He didn't look away when I started pulling out the offending piece of bloody metal embedded in his arm. He didn't scream, he didn't move.

A few tears still fell though. His eyes were shining, filled with pain, and I could tell he was truly hurting, but he didn't look away.

He hissed when the bullet finally slid out, and it dropped to the bathroom floor with a soft "clink". I didn't know what to do then. I couldn't stitch it, it was too deep.

I also couldn't let him bleed to death in the bath tub now that his shoulder was open and a steady stream of red was trickling out.

"You'll have to burn it Mells." he whispered.

He was right.

But I couldn't do it. I shook my head. He still locked his gaze on my face. "Shit Mello... please just do it."

I took a shaky breath. He was depending on me. After keeping whatever caused this away from me for so long, he was depending on me.

I pulled a lighter out of his pants pocket, and set it on the rim of the tub before grabbing a bucket and filling it with cold water. I also grabbed two towels before sitting back down beside him.

He looked so weak, so fragile, so helpless.

He looked so trusting as the flame flickered to life. "Please... Please try not to scream." I begged, the flame coming closer.

Instead, he started to sing softly to himself, never looking away from me.

"All this weeping in the air  
Who can tell where it will fall?  
Through floating forests in the air  
'Cross the rolling open sea..."

There was a hiss as the fire began to meld shut the wound. The tears fell faster, I thought I would break apart. It must hurt so very very badly. I didn't remember. He had taken suck care and time to take away the pain.

"Clowns that only let you know  
Where you let your senses go  
Clowns all around you  
It's a cross I need to bear..."

The song was haunting. It was breaking my heart. His voice was so soft, so beautiful, laced with utter agony. He was doing it for me. He knew I wouldn't be able to take it if he screamed. I remembered this song too, he used to sing it for me when I woke up with nightmares back at Wammy's.

The edges of the hole were turning red and black, it was slowly closing over. I sucked in a shaky breath and continued, unable to look away from the grotesque burning hole.

"All this black and cruel despair  
This is an emergency  
Don't you hide your eyes from me  
Open them and see me now..."

He faltered slightly at the end if that chorus, and I nearly pulled away and chucked the lighter across the room, but I couldn't. The smell of burning flesh made me want to gag. Made me want to cry for him.

"Can you see?  
Can you see?  
See me here in the air  
Not holding on to anywhere  
But holding on so beware  
I have secrets I won't share..."

Secrets. I had to know who did this to him. And why. And then I would rip them apart, limb from limb. Make them feel the pain he felt now. I would make them pay.

"Clowns that only let you know  
Where you let your senses go  
Clowns all around you  
It's a cross I need to bear..."

There. It was done. I threw the lighter as far away from me as I could. He was shaking. I wrapped the black charred hole in the last of the bandages and pulled him tightly in to my arms, and carried him to our bed.

"Matty...?" I asked softly. I wanted to know.

"Mello... Go to the door, there is something f-for...you." He coughed slightly at the end, sinking in to the pillow and closing his eyes. He was asleep in a flash.

I stood up, and walked out to the door, and opened it. There was a simple wrapped package, with a letter and a nice little black bow. I carried it back to our room and placed it on the bed beside Matt, opening the letter.

"Dear Mello,

Happy Birthday! I'm sorry about sneaking out so many times, I had to take a few jobs to get you your present. I hope you enjoy it.

Love,  
Matt."

He was right. It was now the thirteenth. It was my birthday. He had gotten me a present? With hacking jobs. Which meant... He had just gotten back from his last job... And the jerks who had hired him had tried to kill him before paying him off.

I finally let a few tears fall. I smiled sadly, understanding it all now. "Matt..."

I opened the box carefully, my breath held. Inside was a fancy and expensive looking velvet liner and nestled in the liner was… a brand new black and red beaded Rosary. I had lost my old one in the explosion.

I stared. It was beautifully crafted, the beads shining and the cross, perfectly polished silver. "Matt…" I breathed, looking back at him, sound asleep.

He had done this for me? How had he even known? I slipped the rosary around my neck, admiring it. I would treasure it forever. Just like I would treasure him.

I kept watch over him the entire night, never letting myself fall asleep. I also called my subordinates again, ordering them to track down the men who had attacked Matt and bring them in.

Dead or alive.

When Matt finally woke up the next morning, a large sigh of relief escaped me. I hadn't known whether or not he would live.

That worry had added a few hundred more chocolate wrappers to the floor.

"Mello?" He had asked quietly, trying to sit up. I pinned him back down gently, telling him "It would only hurt more." He didn't try to get up again.

"Do you like your present?" I stared back at him, slightly shocked that that was the first thing he would worry about. I nodded quickly, smiling.

"Yeah Matt, I really do, thanks. But you didn't have too, I never wanted you to get hurt." I replied, gripping his hand. He smiled. "I'm sorry. I probably wrecked your birthday." Oh Matt, always worrying about me first. I nearly wanted to yell YOU GOT FREAKING SHOT IN THE ARM, CARE ABOUT YOURSELF! MY BIRTHDAY CAN GO TO HELL!

But I didn't. Yelling at him would not be tolerated. Instead I assured him "You didn't wreck it Matty."

"I'm glad…" he replied, relaxing.

"Hey Matt?" I suddenly asked, getting an idea.

"Yeah?"

"I know one thing you could do that would make it even better…" I trailed off, smirking.

His eyes brightened, making me smirk even more. "Really, what?"

"Kiss me."

He did.


	2. Chapter 2 Watching Over You

**A.N: Jaunt, I believe you owe me a chapter^.^ Mwuahahahaha I DID IT! **

**Now if only I can get inspired to write the next chapter for SGK…**

A few days after Matt had fallen in through the door covered in blood, I received a call from Rod, saying that my men had dragged in four guys for me.

I really loved the mafia.

I got up immediately, getting dressed in my now trademark black leather, and smiling at the blood red and sleek black beads of my new rosary. I slid my favorite gun, a Beretta 92FS, in to my pant, and grabbed a few other weapons too.

I did say I would make them pay.

And I never go back on my word.

Well….. At least not when I'm talking to Matt.

Speaking of Matt, he would need to come too. I walked over to the bed, eating a bar of chocolate, before gently poking the lump that was my little red haired gamer buried under the blankets.

"Wha…? I 'don wanna get up…." He groaned, half asleep. I sighed.

"Matt, come on, get up. We have to go to headquarters."

"Go away…" he sounded almost like a little kid. I sighed again, and leaned in as close as I could to where I thought his head was and whispered "You have five seconds to get up, or your X-box gets it."

He shot up immediately, the blankets flying off the bed, yelling "I'm up, just don't hurt her!"

I laughed. His red hair was sticking up in a few places, and he was only in a pair of boxers.

I stopped when I saw the bandages and remembered why I had just gotten him up.

"Come on and get dressed, we have to get going." I said quietly, helping him up. He was still shaky when he walked, most likely from blood loss. I knew most of the wounds still hurt.

"Alright, give me a few minutes, jeeze." He smiled weakly, walking to our closet and grabbing a pair of jeans and a striped shirt.

As always.

He somehow managed to get in to his jeans without much of a problem, which I thought was very impressive, considering his injuries and how tight the jeans were.

Man they looked good. I mean look at that as- Focus Mello.

Focus.

His shirt was another issue. Any large movement of his shoulder or chest area hurt like hell, and could possibly tear the scars and stitches.

Which would suck.

I walked over and tried to help, but I didn't want to hurt him worse.

After five tries, three different positions and very well worked out equations, and a few hundred "Shit Mel!"s , we got the damn shirt on without damaging him.

A lot.

He also insisted on wearing his vest, which I should have thought of since it is the middle of December, so he grabbed that on the way out and pulled it on. I got my jacket too.

Hey, it's fucking cold out there.

The drive to headquarters felt like it lasted forever, neither of us really talked. No one was out on the roads, or even walking by, which I thought was a bit odd considering that this was, after all, L.A.

I soon realized that it wasn't that odd, now considering exactly how insane you would have to be to go out in this weather.

"Mello, are we there yet?" Matt asked tiredly from the seat beside me.

It was almost funny, seeing as we had just pulled up to the back entrance.

"Really Matt? Really?" I sighed, slipping out of the car. He smiled widely, and slid out too, nearly falling a few times.

I gripped his arm tightly when he walked around to meet me by the door, and carefully pulled him in. I didn't want him to fall. And plus, while I knew all of my men wouldn't dare touch him after the few hundred very graphic threats I had given to each of them personally, should something happen to him on their accords, I couldn't say that some of the other men wouldn't hurt him.

This is the mafia after all.

This is My Matty we're talking about.

A few of the men walking by us gave him a couple of odd glances, but quickly averted their eyes and fled at once under my glare. And though he knew all of the men in this base wouldn't touch him while he was with me, I felt him cling to me closer than usual, and grip my hand tightly.

I pretended not to notice that he was shaking slightly.

I lead him in to the main room, as we called it, where I saw Rod lounging on the couch with two girls on either side, draping themselves all over him. It was disgusting. The room reeked of smoke, sex, alcohol, and chocolate.

The chocolate was because of me.

Beside him were about five of my men, surrounding a group of four men kneeling on the floor with their wrists and ankles bound in old, rusty, bloody chains. I felt Matt grip my arm even tighter, and avert his eyes.

The four men were rather beat up, with bruises lacing their faces and all other exposed skin I could see, along with a few gun wounds each. Most of the wounds looked a few days old.

Score one for Matty.

I gestured for my men to leave us, and they did so quickly, smirking. Rod sat up a bit in his chair to survey whatever was about to begin. "They're all yours, Mello." He grinned, his eyes glinting.

Damn psychopathic bastard.

Oh well.

I pulled away slightly from Matt, and looked down at his quivering form. "Are these the bastards who attacked you?" I asked quietly.

He nodded.

I kissed his cheek before walking over to the first man, and pulled my gun out, pointing it straight under his throat. He gulped, his eyes wide.

"You see that boy over there? His name is Matt. You tried to kill him four days ago. Correct?" I sneered, glaring harshly, and pressing the cold barrel harshly against his jugular.

"I- we- well- uh, it w-was just business you see? W-we needed the job done and c-come on, we wouldn't want to pay for that s-shit man? It's e-expensive and w-we thought it would be easy to just kill hi-" I pulled the trigger. He keeled over instantly, blood gushing from the hole in his head.

"Who's next?"

Slowly I killed the rest of the men, their deaths much slower and much more painful than the first. Matt watched the whole time. I could almost feel his eyes burning in to my back from where he sat a few feet behind me.

I put my gun away, and threw my pocket knife, lighter, and metal chain on to the couch. They would be picked up later. I helped Matt up from his spot and gently lead him back out of the building and back to my car. No one looked at us as we left. They were too scared.

He was still shaking a bit, but I could tell it was better now. He slid in, and I started the car and sped out, wanting nothing more than to get home fast. The drive before had been to slow.

"Mells?" I heard him ask quietly, grabbing my hand again.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks." He smiled, though I could tell he was still mentally flipping out.

"No problem." I smiled too, glancing at him.

"Oh, and Mells?" He looked up, and I swallowed hard, not sure what he was going to ask.

"Yeah….?"

"You've either spent way too much time watching me play video games, or talking to BB." And with that he closed his eyes, and fell asleep, leaning on my shoulder.

I laughed softly, grinning at his sleeping form.

"I'll always watch over you." I whispered, knowing that hadn't been what he meant.

But it was true, none-the-less.

As was me watching him play video games to much, though the attack back there had been out of my own blood lust to kill those bastards.

I mean really.

Beyond was fucking scary.


	3. Chapter 3 With Frightened thoughts

**What now! Two chapters in one day! I'm so awesome… Not really, oh well.**

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! Please keep it up!**

**I might even get another one up tomorrow^.^**

Matt's POV:

! My mind was running in circles over and over again.

I almost felt sick.

I couldn't get the damn image out of my head.

I had fallen asleep almost instantly when my head had touched his shoulder. But now I didn't want to sleep, not with the memory fresh in my mind.

Don't get me wrong, I was definitely thankful for Mello, how he had killed those bastards after what they had done.

But still…

He had been utterly psychotic, killing each of them in a brutal and horrific way I wouldn't even have the creativity or pure hatred to do.

After blowing the fucking brains out of the first guy, he had dropped his gun and taken out his pocket knife, and threw the second to the floor.

He carved him up with malice glinting in his eyes. He made each cut slow, deliberate, and painful.

Blood mixed with blood on the floor.

I hadn't been able to tear my eyes away.

The man had died from either blood loss or pain. I wasn't sure.

He dropped his pocket knife, grabbing an old chain I hadn't seen before, and turned to the third man.

I was terrified as I watched him beat, whip, and suffocate the man with the rusty metal. Blood was everywhere, and all I saw was red, and him, and the corpses.

I had been shaking so badly, I had been worried the room might start moving.

I could hardly believe that this blood thirsty killer was the same person as my loving Mihael who had kissed my cheek moments and taken care of me since we were kids.

But it was.

And yes, I truly had been frightened.

The chain fell to the floor with a clang, and a little splash of crimson rose up. I whimpered softly.

He paused subconsciously for a moment, before taking one last object from a pocket in his leather pants.

A lighter.

The same one he had used to burn together the gunshot wound in my shoulder.

My lighter.

He had kneeled low by the last man, who was sobbing, begging for his life like a true coward. Mello smirked. My heart froze and my breath hitched.

His eyes were cold as ice, filled with hate, malice, blood lust, and pure mercilessness.

!

I would never get those screams out of my head.

Never.

When it had all been over, and each man was dead on the floor, and he had gotten up, surrounded by blood and looking as beautiful as a fallen angel, he threw the weapons on to the couch and picked me up off the ground.

I stared at the bloody corpses until he turned me around and lead me out of the base.

And that leads to where I am now, pretending to still be asleep on him. I had played it off, pretending everything was all right, I even joked about it, in an attempt to reassure both him and me.

But it hadn't worked at all.

Before I knew it we were home, and he picked me up and carried me inside to our room and laid me down under the covers where I had wanted to be for most of this morning, and I found no way to understand that this caring, beautiful, short tempered, quiet boy was the man who had slaughtered the bastards who had tried to kill me.

Yes. They had tried to kill me instead of paying me.

I had counterattacked, fighting my way to the money, and dragging my bloody and broken form to the store to get Mello his present, cause in the end he was all I cared about, but still.

Was it right to have killed them so…..

So….

So cruelly.

And of course I loved him, I always would.

Always have.

I will even after he died.

But that didn't mean for the meantime I wouldn't be as scared as hell of him.

That thought felt impossible to me, that I would ever be scared of my Mello. I quickly crushed that fear.

But the memories still lingered.

Or at least, that was, until I felt him ghost his lips softly over mine, and every thought in my head faded to nothing.

Sweet, sweet blissful nothing.

That tasted like chocolate, smoke, and Mello.

And I realized that this really was my Mello, my Mihael, killing for me like a grim reaper, forever and always, protecting me in one of the many ways that he could, and brushing away the gruesome memories with a kiss.

No matter what he did and who he killed.

He could even kill my X-box.

Really, he could.

But then he'd have to buy me a new one.

Oh well.


	4. Chapter 4 And I Know

**A.N: And another chapter, DONE! I am on a freaking Roll!**

Mello's POV:

I smiled when I pulled away and saw Matt relax and smile in his sleep. He had looked uneasy earlier, but that was gone now.

All with one kiss.

He rolled over subconsciously so he was facing me, before murmuring "Mello…. Thanks."

I slid quietly in to bed next to him, kicking off my boots and throwing them by his. He instantly curled up against me, his head resting in the crook of my neck. I placed my arm around his waist and pulled him closer, allowing myself to relax as well.

I hadn't slept in a very long time, after all. Being an insomniac is kind of part of the job description.

Slowly my eyes closed, and everything melted away except for him.

When I opened my eyes again, it was dark out.

Like, really dark out.

I glanced at the clock. It read four AM.

Shit.

I bet Near wasn't resting, wasn't behind time, wasn't missing facts.

Wasn't really fucking comfortable in bed with a hot ass gamer...

I figured I guess it wouldn't be so bad to let Near have a bit more of a head start.

I mean really.

Have you seen Matt?

I sighed, closing my eyes once more and smiling down at the beautiful red head against me.

The next morning I was up by nine thirty, dressed, and ready to start beating that damn albino. He was already a few days ahead, and I would need to catch up, fast. I let Matt sleep for as long as I could, he still needed a lot of rest to heal his wounds and make up for all the blood he lost.

He may not want to admit it, but I knew it still hurt, and he still felt weak.

And I wanted him to get better.

And never get hurt.

Ever.

Fucking.

Again.

Understood?

He woke up at one, yawing before dragging himself over to where I was sitting, working on the laptop.

I was looking in to a few new leads. But I was pretty sure they wouldn't lead anywhere.

But I might as well try. I would take any chances.

Well, almost any chances.

Anyway, he practically fell on to the couch next to me, rubbing his eyes tiredly, which I had to admit was pretty cute.

"Hey…. What time did you get up?" He asked, stretching. He winced a few times, and though I didn't show it, I worried.

"Nine Thirty." I replied, not looking back up. I had work to do.

He nodded slightly, walking over to pick up his laptop before sitting back down beside me.

I groaned angrily after a few minutes. I had been right; the leads were dead ends, which put me even farther behind Near.

Damn it all!

Wait, not it all, that includes Matt.

Damn him!

I felt like punching something.

Something scrawny, childish, and white.

Named Near.

I suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder, and I looked up, glaring. Matt smiled back, handing me his laptop. I glanced down and froze, all my frustration melting away.

It was a complete set of files.

And not just any files.

The SPK files.

"I- I'm sorry I made you get behind Near. This should catch you up with everything he knows." He said, glancing away.

I was speechless. Not only had he read me so well, he had done probably the hardest hacking job ever, and broke in to SPK. I sucked in a breath, looking between the computer screen and him.

"Matty, I love you."

"I know."


	5. Chapter 5 I'm Cold

**A.N: I don't really know why I like this kind of story, but I really do. I did a chapter like this one on SGK too, but I think I like this one more.**

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far and kept on reading, I promise I'll try to get more chapters up soon.**

Mello's POV:

The next morning I woke up early, slipping unnoticed out of bed long before the sun rose. Matt would never be caught dead up at this hour. But I had important work to do.

I was dressed and out the door just as the sky was beginning to lighten up. I had my jacket zipped tight around me, it was only a few days till Christmas and it was still really fucking cold.

After all, leather isn't exactly warm.

I was at base in record time, marching inside with my chocolate in hand, turning heads with every step and every sweet crack.

The meeting I attended ran very late, literately from dawn until disk and possibly beyond. However, I was very content with how things went.

My way.

We were yet again a step closer to catching Kira. Even if he had evaded us last time, especially with Soichiro Yagami finding my name out. At least he didn't live long enough to tell anyone other than the Kira Task Force members.

Only when I reached the car and looked down at my phone to see the twenty or so missed calls did my mind flash back to the red head I had left at home. I listened to the last message he had left.

"Mello, its Matt again, where the hell are you? It's minus three degrees out there and you haven't been home all day. I'm sorry if you were mad at me or something, I'm sorry just please come home, please don't say you've left again. I'm still out looking for you. Please call me."

I swallowed hard. It sounded like he was about to cry.

Wait… he was out searching for me… in minus three degree weather…. Without his car cause I'm using it…..

Shit.

I called him, but he didn't answer.

Shit!

I sped off, driving everywhere he could have and would have looked for me, until there was nowhere else to go. I was almost back to our apartment when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a flash of red hair.

I floored the breaks, the car skidding to a stop and I leaped out. Matt was leaning against the side of a building, collapsed to his knees. Tears were streaming down his face, most of them frozen, and he was shivering. His lips looked almost blue. His eyes were shut and his breathing labored.

I grabbed him and carried him to the car, driving all the rest of the way in to the complex and rushing him up to our room. His clothes were soaked, they would be the first thing that needed to go. I pulled them off quickly, noticing his overly pale skin. I also peeled off my own clothes, wrapping my arms tighter around him in an attempt to share body heat.

He felt like ice against me.

I carried him in to our bedroom and slid under the cover with him, holding his shivering form as close as I could.

Tiny ice crystals were beginning to melt off his eyelashes, flecks of snow and ice in his hair and trails of ice running down his face from the tears. I pressed my lips over him, trying to warm them up and get rid of the blue-white tinge.

Slowly color flooded back in to his lips, and I let out a sigh of relief. I gently started running soft kisses down his cheeks on the trail of tears, taking away the ice.

He began to warm up a bit, and I felt him press himself closer. I felt awful. This had been my fault. U had gotten so enthralled in my work for the day I had forgotten all about my Matty, and because of that he had gotten sick, and probably almost died.

Why is it everything I do always get's the one I love hurt?

Damn it!

"Mello?" He asked weakily, still shivering.

"I'm here Matty. I'm so sorry this is all my fault." I whispered back, planting my lips on his neck.

"No it's not. I'm sorry."

I frowned slightly. It was my fault. But he was the one still apologizing. He really was more than I could ask for.

"No Matt, it really is my fault, I was stupid and left all day, and didn't tell you. I'm sorry. Please just rest."

"But Mel-" I cut him off by kissing him again, before whispering to him "Matty, just shut up and sleep."

He nodded, slowly closing his eyes, and I smiled slightly.

Just before I also closed my eyes and fell asleep I heard him whisper "Please don't leave me."

"I won't Matty, I won't.

And that sure as hell was the truth.


	6. Chapter 6 But It's Fun

**A.N: Thank you Chocopokkin for giving me this whole idea. And for your PM. I hope you feel better^.^ Sorry the chapters kinda short, Oh well.**

**Thank you to all of the people who favorited and subscribed to this story and Shot Gun Kiss, I swear I'll put up a new chapter for that one soon…..ish…..**

**And if anyone knows my Black Butler account, I swear I'm going to stop stalling and finally update. It's been like four months. **

**Maybe more.**

Mello's POV:

I stood impatiently by the stove, about ready to shoot something cause of how long the freaking soup was taking to get warm enough. Matty was still sick after being out in the cold all of yesterday, which was my fault, and so today I decided I would make him soup before he went to bed.

Yes, I, Mello, was making soup.

Shut up, if you laugh, I'll put a hole in your head and shove you six feet under.

I'm not joking.

I dare you, laugh.

That's what I thought.

Anyway, after way more time than it should've taken, the soup was done, and I brought it in to the bed room where Matt was sitting, covered in like five blankets, messing around on his laptop.

He was supposed to be resting.

But like that happened.

"Hey, get off your freaking laptop, you need to eat something and then sleep." I sighed, setting the bowl of soup down.

"Alright, hang on." He whispered, writing out a final PM to the person he had been talking too and shut his computer. I snickered, having seen the PM. It said "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i'll tell you tomorrow, it's my bedtime XD the warden is about to steal my computer."

My guess was he was talking to one of his hacker friends, probably Reth.

I felt accomplished knowing I was considered a warden.

Just to prove a point I took the laptop, too.

"Here." I smiled, picking up the bowl and handing it carefully to him. He smiled back.

"Thanks." He replied softly, picking up the spoon and carefully eating.

I sat by him the whole time he ate, grinning.

What, I can be a relatively good boyfriend when I wanted to be.

When he was done I picked up the empty bowl and carried it back to the kitchen. He had eaten all of it, which was a good sign, though he still looked way to pale.

I walked back to the bedroom when I was done, and almost laughed when I saw him.

He was fast asleep, buried all the way under the blankets, the only thing sticking out other than his head being one of his arms. I sat down by him on the edge of the bed and placed my hand on his arms, gently tracing random patterns on his skin.

He shivered, but didn't move away. He was practically begging for me to do something.

I mean really.

I slid down so I could reach better and picked his arm up carefully, and placed my lips against the inner crook of his elbow. I smirked when he shivered more and moaned softly, though his eyes never opened and I knew he was still asleep.

I still knew all of his weak spots.

This would be really, really fun.


	7. Chapter 7 Though I Take It

**A.N: Hey guys, sorry for the super late update (heh that rhymes), I'm on vacation out in New York and there is little to no computer time, let alone a computer. I'm also sorry about how short this chapter is, but I liked it and I hope you do too. **

**Go tell Chocopokkin to get better^.^ He's sick.**

"Gehhh'nnn Mello!" Matt moaned, twisting around in his sleep, his eyes tightly closed and sweat on his brow.

Perfect.

I really should have him leave himself so unprotected in his sleep more often.

I pulled away from his neck, smirking at the small array of bruise marks and love bites.

He moaned again when I trailed my hands down his back until my fingertips rested just under the waistline of his boxers which already  
were wonderfully low on his hips.

I had by now thrown the blankets off him, leaving him lying there uncovered and practically begging for it.

I was kneeling beside him, bowed down low. He was still asleep.

I had been very careful of that.

He was still sick, after all, he needed his rest.

Heh.

I decided to tease him by letting my right hand slip down the side of his leg. He twisted closer to me.

"gahh Mello..." he sounded so adorable, all flustered and turned on.

Must be one hell of a dream he's having right now. I leaned down lower and nipped his ear.

He whimpered softly.

"Matty... What's wrong?" I asked sweetly as he twisted around again, leaving me to straddle his waist.

He didn't reply.

Hmm. That was odd.

I slid my hand off his leg and up to feel his forehead.

Shit.

He was practically burning up.

I climbed off him, grabbing the blankets and wrapping them back around him. I should have been more careful.

I nearly had forgotten how sick he was.

Oh well.

I sighed with relief when he stopped shivering a bit. I laid down next to him and smirked.

I'll just have to finish what I started later.


	8. Chapter 8 Way to Far

**A.N: IM FINALLY BACK! YES! Alright, here's the first of my updates, next will be Shot Gun Kiss, and then, if I'm still awake, the first chapter of my new Hetalia Spamano Pirate story. **

**LETS GET STARTED!^.^**

The second Matt finally woke up, which was over an hour since…..well…..you know… I immediately told him "Matty, you're such a whore." Before I walked quickly away, leaving him to stare in confusion after me.

This was way, way to funny.

"Mello, that was very nice!" he yelled back after me, sounding exactly like a whiny little kid.

I laughed, continuing to walk in to the kitchen and grabbing a chocolate bar out of the fridge. When I finally walked back to our room, he was still sitting there, looking after me, pouting.

"You're a bully Mello….." he muttered as I sat down on his legs.

"But you love me none the less." I smirked, before pulling him up to kiss me.

He put up a pretty good fight this time for dominance, but eventually I won. Finally I let him pull away from air.

"That's very true, and you probably just got yourself sick." He smiled before coughing. I froze.

Shit. He was right.

Damn it, why do I keep forgetting he's sick?!

"Oops….oh well, that just means you'll have to take care of me for a few days." I replied, laughing softly. He nodded, sliding back down on to his pillow.

For a few minutes both of us were silent, not really sure what to talk about. I mean, there really wasn't much.

"Hey Mello?" He finally asked.

"Yeah?"

"Why am I a whore?" He asked, laughing. I grinned, tuning slightly so I could straddle his waist and lean in _very _close to his ear.

"Because, Matty, you moan like one in your sleep, and you call my name." I whispered very hotly, beaming wider when he blushed widely.

"And you know that…how?" he asked suddenly. Ooh he got me there. I paused, leaning away slightly, before jumping up and running back out the bedroom door yelling "Cause I messed with you while you were sleeping!"


	9. Chapter 9 And it Come Crashing Down

**A.N: You all have Chocopokkin to thank for the next two updates.**

**Remember Jacen, I don't forget blackmail…..So therefore, you owe me an update too.**

"Matt get up….." I yelled for the seventh time today. I mean seriously, No one should be able to sleep later than three in the afternoon, but no, he just had to stay asleep.

"Matt, don't make me come in there."

I heard his very muffled voice yell back "I dun' wanna get up…I dun' feel gud."

I laughed. He sounded awful, but damn it, he sounded adorable too.

A few minutes later he shuffled down the hallway out of our room, wrapped in like ten blankets, looking half asleep. I laughed again. He glared.

"Shut up." He snapped, walking over to the couch and sitting down beside me.

"Or what?" I asked back, laughing.

"I'll…I'll….." He stopped midsentence by coughing, which made me pause for a moment. Maybe he really was still really sick. If he was, it would be my fault.

Shit.

"Hey, are you okay?" I quickly asked, placing my hand on his forehead, which was still burning. He shook his head.

I pulled him in to my lap. He instantly curled up and shut his eyes, and he was out like a fucking light.

So maybe it had been a mistake to make him get up. Oops. Although, he did look really quite cute curled up like that.

He looked so peaceful, and relaxed, with his hair all messed up, and a very faint smile on his lips, like nothing wrong had ever happened.

What wishful thinking that was.

I gently kissed his cheek before closing my own eyes and drifting off to sleep.

When I woke up, it was dark out, and Matt was still there on my lap. I guess there really is a cure for insomnia. It's called an adorable sick boyfriend. However, now I seriously couldn't feel my legs.

So, I picked him up carefully and walked sluggishly back to our room before lying down and trying to go back to sleep.

Just as I started to drift off again, I was snapped back away by someone pounding on our apartment door yelling "Mello get your ass out here!" followed by the sound of our door being kicked open.


	10. Chapter 10 With Revenge

**A.N: Well apparently NOBODY here likes cliffhangers-.- So here you go, the suspense of the last four hours is over *Sarcasm***

I was up in a flash, grabbing my gun I always kept beside the bed and charging out, prepared to blow a fucking hole in to the head of whoever dared to enter my house.

Sorry, I mean our house.

The entire apartment was pitch dark, the only light being from the open and broken door. And there, standing in the middle of the wreckage of wood, was Rod.

My boss.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing in my fucking apartment Rod?!" I yelled, aiming my gun at his face, which would generally be considered a big deal, but I was really fucking pissed.

No one came in to our apartment.

No one.

And if they do, they probably die out of the mere sliver of a chance that they might hurt my Matty.

"Relax Mello, I only came to make sure you were still alive, and intending to show up to work tomorrow. You've been gone four days, we were beginning to get….worried something had happened to you. But you weren't opening the door so…"

Oh. That was it. He thought I had ditched the mafia and ratted on their hideout, even though he had just said they were worried, for a mafia boss he can't lie worth shit.

I scowled and lowered my gun. "Yeah, I'm coming tomorrow, I've just been a bit busy, now if you don't mind, get the fuck out of my house please?" I snapped, wishing he'd just be gone already. I would hate to have had him wake up Matt. Then he would have to face my wrath.

"Yeah, sure, just make sure you show up. Oh, and bring that cute little boyfriend of yours, we could use him to hack some stuff for us." My idiot "boss" laughed.

Fuck no.

There was no way in fucking hell that I was bringing Matt back to the base again. He was still sick, and I don't trust a single one of Rod's men and Rod himself not to touch him. They were all criminals, and all of them had their eyes on him.

My fucking Matty.

Mine.

"I'll do the hacking myself, understand? Matt is not coming anywhere near our base, and if you really need him to help us that fucking bad he can work from here, got it?" I snapped again, though I was now keeping my voice quieter to keep him asleep.

"….fine, just make sure the work gets done." He replied, before walking back out.

I sighed, relaxing now that that creep was the fuck out. I picked up the remains of the door and attempted to set them up back in the frame, so at least I could fix it later.

"Mello?" I heard Matt ask sleepily from behind me, and I whirled around.

"Hey, when did you get up?" I asked weakly, trying to smile a bit.

"When your creepy boss broke down the door." He laughed, walking over to grab my hand before leading me away from the door and back to our room.

"So you saw all that?" I sighed.

"Yeah… thanks about not making me go back to base." He smiled, kissing me quickly before slipping back under the covers.

I grinned, both at the kiss, and the sweet sweet revenge Rod was going to feel in the morning.


	11. Chapter 11 Thats Sweet

I showed up to work bright an early and exactly on time, chugging a Red Bull and scarfing chocolate. I mean, come on, you don't get that much sleep after a psychopathic guy breaks down your door, now do you?

All of my men avoided eye contact this morning, which I thought was pretty fucking smart considering just how tired and pissed I looked. Oh well, it would be worth it in about ten minutes, as soon as I see Rod and...

Heh. This would be very, very fun.

I marched in to our tech room where he was working and sat down immediately on a couch and propped my feet up like I owned the place.

Hell, I _did _own the place.

Rod looked up quickly and smirked before looking back down at the computer in front of him.

"Morning Mello." He said smoothly, not looking back up at me, though I knew he was probably using his computer screen as a mirror to "secretly" watch me. I gave a curt nod in reply.

This was to easy. I secretly pressed the button hidden in my pocket I had had Matty so conveniently set up for me.

Ten...nine...eight...seven...six...five...four...three...two...

one...

Every single computer screen and monitor blacked out. I could practically hear Matt laughing in my head.

"What the hell? What's going on?!" Rod yelled as the other occupants of the rom jumped back in alarm.

I snickered.

A picture suddenly appeared on the screen. It showed a pair of gothic M's, like how L's used to be.

"Mello! Fix this!"

"Hmm...I don't know, I'm kind of tired, after all, I was very rudely awakened last night...ask me tomorrow, okay?" I yawned before walking back out and slamming the door behind me.

Ah yes, revenge was very, very sweet.


	12. Chapter 12 Cause I love You

**A.N: Hi... so I was originally not going to update, but then I was persuaded...*cough cough Jacey* So...here it is. Excuse my bad grammer...**

Mello's POV:

Rod didn't bother me again for the next few days, which I spent most of at home with Matt, working from our laptops curled up on the couch together. After all, if it wasn't necessary to go back to that hell hole known as base, or at least what's left of base, than why should I go? And plus, if I stay here, than that means I don't have to leave Matty

I think overall it's just better if I stay here…

I think everyone can agree with me, right?

Anyway, I was retracing our steps and going over the possible ways to bring that bastard Kira, who I now knew was the new L, down. I would make him pay for what he did. I will be the one to catch him, not that idiot Near.

God, Near. Don't even get me started on the little albino prick. I could spend days upon days naming all the things wrong with him. We may be working towards the same goal, but we would never be on the same side, not matter what.

I think I would rather die.

Matt was currently digging through the Japanese Task Force's current files, looking for ways he could corner Kira and find a way to get evidence that it really was him. But there were two main issues.

One: We had no way of contacting the officials without getting arrested ourselves, after all, it wasn't like we were doing this the legal way like Near was.

Two: I don't think any judge or jury in the world would believe that this teen was killing people with a little black book given to him by some insane shinigami with absolutely no style or tactic.

I'm fairly certain they'd put me in an asylum for even suggesting it.

So all in all, we were screwed.

I heard Matt yawn next to me, so I glanced at the clock and back. It was getting late. We'd been working for almost three days straight. I could tell I was getting to be pretty freaking tired cause all the words and documents I was trying to read were staring to blend together…..

"Mells…..I'm tired….." Matt groaned next to me, letting his head fall to my shoulder. All around our couch were piles upon piles of chocolate wrappers, soda cans, papers, notebooks, our shirts cause at one point or another the air conditioning had died for the fiftieth time, and other random trash like old half empty Chinese take-out cartons. Shit we would have to clean up later. Oh well.

I could get matt to do it.

However, at the moment, I think it was time for some rest. I saved everything, being very careful, losing a single document could mean losing our edge, before shutting off me laptop and setting it on the other side of the couch.

Matt looked lazily up at me as I shrugged his head off me and took his computer, also saving and shutting it down and setting it down on top if mine.

I didn't feel like walking all the way to our room, I think I would collapse, so I lifted him up a bit and lied down across the couch. He mimicked my actions and curled up beside me. We were both sound asleep in minutes.

The next time I woke up, I realized we had slept for over a day, and Matt was still going at it. I honestly didn't want to wake him. He looked so peaceful…..

And cute…..

But then I noticed the scars. Long, purple-ish blue and white scar lines deep and jagged that traced his chest in misshaped lines and imprinted the awful memories from that night just a few weeks ago. I wanted to curl up an die because of what those men did to him because of me.

Or rather because of his love for me.

I really didn't deserve him. he was too good, too perfect… I know he'd go to the ends of the earth and beyond for me. I know he die for me in an instant.

And that scared me more than anything else in the world.

I couldn't lose him.

Not again.

"I love you..."

Never again. I needed him more than anything else in the entire world, and I knew he needed me one way or another.

And that would never change.


	13. Chapter 13 Forever Now

**A.N: Longest chapter ever! YEAH! Also probably the saddest chapter yet TTwTT. I'm pretty sure there is only going ot be two more chapters before this is finished, I feel so sad...I'll just make sure I stall and make chapters long^.^ Yeah, thats a good idea.**

**Once again, you thank Jacey for this. Here ya go, Gerenal of War, my order is completed. (Everyone else, don't ask, we were just being spazzes-.-"**

The next morning I realized three things.

One: Our house was a freaking mess. We would seriously have to clean soon, if we were going to get anything done.

Two: The couch is not a suitable place to sleep, my back fucking hurts.

Three: Matty and I were going to have to die to bring Kira down.

Don't ask me how I came to that conclusion, that doesn't matter. What matters now is how we get this to work. And I had it all planned out. We kidnap Takada.

I would be on my bike, I'd get her and take her to the old abandoned church, and get her to write my name in the book. That would result in the first Kira and the new Kira to kill her, framing both of them.

But she had body guards.

And that's where Matt came in.

Oh god I can't ask him to do it for me. I'm not scared that he'd back down, force me to change my mind and find a different solution, even though I know there isn't one.

No. That's not what scares me.

it's the fact that I know he'd do it without a second thought. He'd throw away his life for me if I asked him to.

And that's exactly what I'm going to have to do if I beat Near.

No, no, no, no, NO! There's got to be another way! Get him to escape, find a way to get him out of there…..Let me die alone….

Oh hell, who am I kidding. If I die, I know he will too. That's just the way he works. That's just the way he is.

That's just how much he loves me…

I wish he didn't love me. It would literately save his life. What a selfish person I am, huh. To practically send my one and only love in the entire world to his death just so I can catch some killer.

Just so that for maybe ten seconds I can finally be number one. I can finally succeed L.

Is it worth it? Is it really worth it?

No….

And yes…

It's the only way….. only I can do it…..only we can do it.

My thought process freezes the instant I feel Matt move slightly against me, and I know he's starting to wake up. I instantly tighten my arms around him, wishing that if I hold him long enough close to me then he won't ever have to leave, we won't ever have to get up….

He won't ever have to die, at least not now.

It makes me sad to think that one day when the world looses the perfect and beautiful being known as Matt, no one will mourn him. No one will even care. Not even me.

Why?

Cause I'll be gone too, and no one will even notice.

Because we technically don't exist.

Our fingerprints were burned away, our names destroyed, our faces forgotten, our families nothing but a scattered lot of nightmares and graves.

How could no one even care?! How dare the-

"Mello….?" I heard him whisper and instantly everything melted away, and it was just me and him, lying here once again, and I momentarily shoved all memories and plots to the back of my mind, putting on as big of a smile as I could for his last few days before rolling over.

"Morning." I tried to sound happy, or at least snarky, which is usually the most I could manage, but now it was just a meek, fake little amount of optimism that I'm sure he would be able to see straight through.

He could always see right through me. After all, he's the only one that really knows me.

I instantly noticed the slight flash of concern flood through his pretty green eyes that I wanted to just melt in to, and I felt guilt instantly. I knew I had to tell him, had to get him ready, brief him so that he knew just how he was going to die.

I silently prayed that right now would be the moment Kira would write my name down so I wouldn't have to do this and so he would have a chance of living to be old, hopefully finding someone else to love him, someone who wouldn't be a monster like me.

"Are you okay?"

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one…. Nope, I'm still alive.

Way to pull though for me, Kira, you really did a great job.

Damn.

"Yeah….I'm fine. I've just been thinking." His eyebrows rose slightly in surprise. Or at least I thought it was surprise. I smiled more, noticing how cute he looked like that. He noticed, and I saw him relax. he thought I was fine just by my smile. Great. What a relief.

"Okay. Well then I think I'm going to go back to sleep, I'm still kinda tired. You should do the same."

And in a flash he was out again, sleeping soundly against my chest, looking as adorable and innocent as ever, which was as far from the truth as could be, seeing as none of us could ever be considered innocent ever again.

Either way I could always just tell him later, when he woke up.

When this huge sense of guilt and dread wasn't filling up my mind.

When I could tell him just how much he means to me, and beg him not to do it, and try to get him to hate me even though I know that will never happen, so instead I just close my eyes and sink back in to sleep like he said I should, hoping to stall his death for as long as I could.

Trying to evade the inevitable.

The next time I wake up, it's not because of my mental clock that works twenty-four seven to keep me working against Near, it's him, waking up, and yawning, before sighing and instantly I know he's figured it out.

I should have known. He is a genius after all, he'd probably even smarter than Near and I combined in many ways, but I know he would never show it.

Because he loves me too much to do it.

But that doesn't deny the fact that he knows, and from as much as I can tell right now, he's not running away, yelling at me for trying to kill him, begging me not to go, trying to get away, screaming that he hates me.

No. That would be too much to ask.

Instead he's breathing calmly, and I can tell he has his mind set, and nothing that I can say can get him to change his mind.

"Mells….?"

Oh shit, he knows I'm awake.

"…yeah?" I ask quietly, hoping he doesn't hear.

"I'll do it."

I swear to god my heart died with those three words.

I swear that the sun stopped shining, the birds stopped singing, the sky came crashing down, my breathing stopped, and everything froze in to silence.

Half of me was happy, to hear those wo5rdds, to think that I wouldn't die alone and that I would finally bring Kira down and crush Near once and for all, that in my death along with his sacrifice that I would be the victor and finally I would be happy.

I wanted to shove that half of me in to a hole or kick it off a ledge.

"….Are you su-"

"Of course I'm sure."

More of me died. My blood turned to ice, my eyes lost their light, my soul shattered in to a million pieces to know I had just condemned my Matty, my Mail to his very death.

And he was perfectly fucking fine with it.

he agreed without me even asking, he agreed to throw his future, his life, his happiness away for me, without even me asking, and I swear in that moment I wanted to die, I wanted the world to end right then and there. But of course that god awful half of me just had to reawaken, and kick in to action.

"Let's do this."

_Four days later_

Tonight was our second to last night alive. Second to my last night with him on this earth, my last night to prove I do love him, prove I'm sorry, prove that this is worth it.

But there is just two problems with that.

One: I'm not sorry.

Two: It's not worth it. It never will be.

But I can promise you this: I'll be by his side.

Until the end.

Fur Immer Jetz.

For ever now.


	14. Chapter 14 And For One More Night

**A.N: OMG Second to last chapter... IM GONNA CRY! TTwTT And guess what, this chapter is actually M rated! Please don;t judge my fail first attempt at a real yaoi scene...**

**DONT LIKE DONT READ!**

The night before we died I laid side by side with Matt for a while, simply staring at the ceiling, trying to think of the right words to say. What could I even say? Hey Matt, thanks so much for being a good friend, you're going to die tomorrow?

Yeah right. But then again, I couldn't just say nothing, I couldn't just lie here until tomorrow and let him go off to his death without a word of goodbye, of thanks, of love...

I did love him. It might be hard to believe, what, after I left him, hurt him, dragged him through all my troubles... And I know for a fact I didnt't say it nearly often enough. I've never been a guy for nice words or thoughts, I always considered them to be weaknesses, still do, and probably always will, even if they were so desperately needed right now. It would be my last chance, our last night together, and I'll be damned if I let it go to waste.

With that thought in my mind I reached over and grabbed him by the front of his shirt, and pulled him over on top of me, and placed my lips on his. He still tasted vaquely of smoke, even though I had convinced him to quit since he was injured, though its not like he has that long to worry about it or the after effects. But I can say that the taste of him and the smoke together was utterly addictive, and if it were any other time I probably would have made up some lame, snarky-ass comment about how it would have made me want to start.

He relaxed instantly, and opened his lips slightly, allowing my tongue to slip in. He moaned softly and grinded sharply against my hips. Damn. I could feel my leather pants becoming tighter and tighter and I knew he knew it too. He pulled away slowly and grinned, his eyes half open, his lips slightly bruised, and I was surprised I didn't jump him right then and there. I flipped us over and quickly straddled him, slipping a hand under his shirt and pulling it off. He might not look like much, but he was fucking ripped, and not in a the gross-overly-done-body-builder way, but in the Holy-shit-look-at-those-sexy-abs way.

The scars only made it better, even if I regretted the shit out of them. He gasped slightly as I leaned down and bit him gently on the side of his neck, and allowed my lips to trail down from there. He shivered slightly as I moved down, and I smirked slightly, even thought the majority of my thought process was resting on his smooth pale white chest. And then down to his stomach. And then lower...

And I grinned at just how low he let his tight pair of jeans rest on him, exposing just enough of his hips to make me want to drool(although of course I didn't cause that would be gross). I hooked a finger under the hem of his jeans and dragged them down, catching his boxers with them and quickly throwing them in to a corner of the room to be found the next morning. I licked my lips subconsciously as he blushed slightly underneath me, even though I could easily see he was plenty turned on.

Mello I-" I cut him off by taking him fully in my mouth and instantly he moaned, gripping my hair in his hands. I grinned, working my lips around him faster, smirking when his breath hitched and he gasped out my name. I continued until I felt him shudder and grip my hair tighter and I knew was about to come, so I quickly pulled away. He whined, and I smiled innocently. "Not yet, dear." He glared sharply, but stopped when I slowly unzipped my vest and through it to side, and unlaced the ties on my pants. They quickly joined my vest and Matty's clothes on the floor. I shivered slightly as the cool air of the room came to meet me, but that didn't faze me as I held out three fingers to him and he wrapped his lips around them...this would be a night to remember, even if it was our last.

Four and a half hours later we both collapsed in each others arms under the blankets, exhausted and hung over in ecstasy. We both were panting and drenched in sweat, not to mention some other liquids...Heh... Matt sighed, his eyes shut loosely, and snuggled tightly in to my chest. I wrapped my arms tighter around him, and sighed as well. In the morning when we both got up we could deal with what we had to do, get ready, prepare the weapons and so on, but for now, we could stay like this, wrapped in each other, if not for just one night. Oh how I could only wish until the moment my heart stopped beating that we could have had just one more night.


	15. Chapter 15 PLEASE READ

**Hey guys this is Reth, aka SGKandBeyond, and while I know this isn't a real update, I thought it needed to be done. Now I know a few of you guys might know a writer on here by the name of Chocopokkin, he's by far the coolest guy I've ever met, he's really sweet and nice and hilarious and I love his writing to bits. Anyway, he's going through an incredibly hard time right now, his mom passed away a few weeks ago and only a few days ago, his little brother preformed suicide. Some of you guys may or may not care, and most of you guys probably won't listen to me, but if any of you would take the time to PM him or write a review with support or something nice that might cheer him up, than it would mean a lot to both me and him if you guys would do that. Thank you so much,**

**Sincerely, **

**Stephanie Natalia**


	16. Chapter 16

**A.N: OMG final chapter *sob sob* I hope you guys enjoyed this story and I can't wait till the next story. This update is for you, Jacen^w^**

The first thing I saw on the screen was his car. That stupid, old, beat up, sporty ass red car that he had pulled from the junkyard and fixed until it shined like it had just been driven out of the lot. Except now it smoked from where the bullets had riddled it, threatening to burst up in flames.

The I noticed the blood. Staining the pavement, staining the already red car, splattering across the boots of the men who stood in a circle around the scene, smoking guns still pointed at him. Him. His blood.

My mind then registered the guns, and figure they were trained on with over accurate procession. I knew who it was who had died. I also knew exactly when, exactly where, and at exactly what time, and I knew that his death had been all according perfectly to plan.

Oh god. Matt. My beautiful, happy, bright eyed, lazy, stubborn, sarcastic gamer Matt who smoked too much, games too much, loved me way to much... I let my eyes take in the picture of him, lying there leaning against his car, head slouched down, goggles cracked and dripping crimson, blood pooling from his chest.

The term overkill applied way to strongly here. Did they really need to shoot him that many times? No, they were just over confident blood thirsty mother fuckers who hadn't hesitated to pull the trigger the second he stepped out of the car.

Did they even need to shoot him? No, he surrendered just like he was supposed to,hell, he even taunted them like he hadn't done anything, like he was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.

But he wasn't.

Like I said, it had all been according to plan, down to the last millisecond, down to the last smoke bomb, last gunner, last drop of blood... Just like how Takada is now behind me in the end of the truck, getting up the nerve to write my name done on the little scrap of the note book she had smuggled in under her shirt. Just as planned.

"Matt...I'd never thought you'd be killed...forgive me..." I whispered, almost daring myself to laugh at the irony. Of course I knew, but I still had to apologize. After all these would be the last words I ever said alive to him.

I glanced at the screen again, letting my fury blind me as I watched Takada's bodyguards explain they killed him because he wouldn't have helped them anyway. And as true as that was, I still wanted to kill them for it, even if it was my plan.

Those bastards killed my Matty at point blank all because of him.

Kira. The entire fucking reason we were doing this. If this all works out, Near will have the final clue to take that bastard down once and for all. I hoped he'd not be to blind to not see it. Of course I knew that would be impossible, Near would figure it out in a heart beat, but still, it's nice to hope when your giving your life up for it.

I turned back to watch the cigarette fall from his lips when I felt my heart pound and the sound ring through my ears and pain instantly racked through my chest. I smiled.

Matty...my dear, precious Matty, I'm coming. I'll be by your side soon, and I promise I won't let you go.

More pain and I stopped breathing.

I could see his smile, hear his laugh, taste his lips over mine, feel him grip my hand in his. My Matt.

My vision narrowed and I started to see white.

Oh Matty...Mail...I'm so, so sorry. I never wanted it to end this day. We could have grown old together, side by side. We could have taken on the world and then some, and we would have been happy together. I had a ring for you, Matty. I left it to Near so that he knows to bury us together, side by side, and you can wear it in death.

I'm sorry I never had the time to give it to you before this.

I felt myself collapse against the wheel.

Oh god Matty, why did death hurt this much? If this is what mine feels like, I can't imagine yours. There was so much blood. I can remember when you came in that night, bloody from your fight, and I didn't know what to do, I was just so scared I would lose you.

But I didn't. And I'm so, so glad.

But I did now.  
Ten.  
Nine.  
Eight.  
Seven.  
Six.  
Five.  
Four.  
Three.  
Two.

One...

"Mail...I love you..." and I shut my eyes forever.

~One week later~

A small, skinny, white haired boy stood in the rain, outside of an old manor called Whammy's House. In one hand he clutched a pair of roses, in the other, and empty ring box.

The rings, matching, of course, had been placed on the two people now residing in the graves in front of him. Over and over he reread the inscriptions of both head stones, each the same white marble, with the same elegant inscribing.

Here lies Mail Jeevas, Lover of Mihael, Who followed Him Until The End.

Here lies Mihael Keehl, Lover of Mail, Who Fought For Him Until The End.

Silently, the white haired boy placed a rose on each grave, allowing a single crystal like tear to fall.

"Mello, in the end you were the one who won. You did it. You were better, and Im sorry I pushed you so hard. I should have been nicer. I want you to know I always valued you as a friend. Matt, I always knew you could have beaten us both, but you never did, did you? You loved him to much. I'm just sorry that it had to be for him, but I hope you can be together forever."

And Near turned and walked away, mourning the loss of two boys who had saved the world for no one but the other.

He, of course, did not see the two figures, holding hands, one in leather, one in jeans, walking away with matching golden rings, smiling and laughing, slowly fading in to the light.

However, he did hear the last two voices in the wind, nothing more than a whisper "Its not the end. It's just the beginning."


End file.
